omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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