It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
