i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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