i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
