I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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