he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
