this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
