New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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