Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize