I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You took a bar mat shot.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
