just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
