I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
