my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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