i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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