Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
