yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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