So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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