Dual....:-)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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