Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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