I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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