Do you still have your period?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize