If i come over, it means nothing
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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