I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
