So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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