she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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