Screwed.edu
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
vagina is talking i cant
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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