I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
