Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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