i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let's get the cat blown out
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
