Me too!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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