Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
