Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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