so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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