i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
