Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
