I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
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So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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