My room smells like vodka and shame
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We need to get me chipped asap
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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