brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
