Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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