I CAN MOONWALK!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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