We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
