I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize