Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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