Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
