she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
