dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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