I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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