i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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