I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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