Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
