We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
