sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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