Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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