You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
