just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
