and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
