they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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