Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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