Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
