The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize