I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
