so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
