u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Who did Billy Mays play for?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
