? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
