I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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